The New Zealand Honeymoon of Necessity

The original plan for our 25th anniversary was quite simple; I bought a pair of  tickets to see Book of Mormon at the Lyric Theatre in Sydney and started looking for a nice place to go to dinner. Danielle would tough it out alone on the boat while we spent a romantic evening doing something we’d not done in a long time.

Then we tried to renew our visas.

As it turned out we solved several problems at once and ended up taking a lovely week-long third honeymoon on South Island, New Zealand while Danielle toured colleges in the states.

The Visa Issue

Through lack of clarity in the process and ignorance, the first time we renewed our Australian visas after a year in-country they granted us only six months instead of the year we requested. This was vexing since it was expensive as Australia charges much more for a visa if you apply while in the country and they required yet another set of chest-X-Rays and physical exams. It meant we’d need to apply for a second extension before we left since weather patterns don’t permit a sensible departure from Australia March when our Visas expire in six months which would cost an extra $345 AUD/person which we hoped to avoid by applying for a year to stay from March until June when we were leaving on our four-month road trip.

What we didn’t learn until applying for the second extensions is that the second time you apply for an extension, there is an addition $745 AUD fee applied to the $345 AUD “in country” renewal fee. So the cost of extending the visa for a few months jumped now to over $1,000 AUD per person – exclusive of any required medical exams – for the three of us to stay in the country for another three months.

Or, we could leave the country while our visas lapsed and apply for an “eVisa” on our return which allows for 90 day visits and costs $20 AUD each. We figured that for $3,000 we could have a nice vacation somewhere else instead.

Our first impulse was for the three of us to head to New Zealand’s South Island, as we’d always regreted not making it there on either of our visits to NZ. But we with Danielle being accepted to literally every college she applied to, she needed to make some campus visits since this was a huge decision she had to make with a massive impact on all of our futures. So with much sadness on her part, we booked her to the states and us to NZ.

To make this work though, we had to apply for the eVisa after our regular visas expired on March 26th and be out of the country. Since our anniversary is March 27th, we’d be out of Australia for it so I had to put the show tickets up on Gumtree and sell them.

South Island Itinerary

Our regrets for missing South Island were many. It’s the rougher, wilder part of New Zealand with fewer people and more wildlife. Penguins, albatross, sea lions, and fur seals are all relatively easy to see. Our penchant for touring Lord of the Rings movie sites also was luring us there, as they used many South Island in the filming.

So the general itinerary – which I can’t cover all in this post since I’ve already waxed on too long about visa issues – was as follows:

  • Friday March 23: Arrive in Christchurch, stay at a “Bed & Breakfast”. Leave early in the morning to drive south.
  • Saturday 3/24: Oamaru – Yellow-eyed penguins, maybe blue penguins, and a cool little town.
  • Sunday 3/25 – Wednesday: Dunedin – close to blue penguins, albatros, the Catlins. Pass our actual anniversary not driving between hotels.
  • Wednesday night: Stay at a winery in the Otago valley
  • Thursday Night: Fairlie – on the way from the Otago Valley back to Christchurch
  • Friday & Saturday nights – back to Christchurch.
  • Sunday – Fly back to Sydney.

Hey, That’s Not a B&B!

Landing at Christchurch was an easy flight. Getting the rental car took a little time, but we were going with an off-airport discount agency rather than a big name rental company so this was expected. We secured the car and then were off to find our B&B.

Kathy blames herself and her inexperience with online bookings for what happened. I don’t – the listing was written deceptively. Dishonestly, even. they could have fooled anyone; if they didn’t it wasn’t for lack of trying.

We’d booked what described itself as a “Bed & Breakfast”. It was priced…like other B&B’s in the Christchurch area. The text on the booking site used words like “hotel amenities” and other language about “facilities” and “features”.

As we drove into a residential subdivision we were a little confused. We’d had doubts about the place when I looked at the listing and saw what mostly looked like pictures of a home. When we pulled up in front of the address, it was just that – a house, in a subdivision.

There were no cars in the driveway, but there were kids bikes on the porch and several pairs of shoes. A note was left on the door, telling us the door was open and to come on in, and that our room was down the hallway to our right.

Yup, our “B&B” was a home stay. And not a particularly nice one. There was one bathroom in the house we’d be sharing with the people that lived there. Shower shelves and counters were covered with personal care products; this was clearly the shared family bathroom. The kitchen had an off smell of fried cooking, and there was one living room which was the only common area. So our choices were to stay in our room or invade a family’s space.

If it was dirt cheap we might have tried it. If it was a nice place with a private bathroom off our bedroom, we might have tried it. If the people had been home, and we found them welcoming, open and pleasant, we might have been too embarrassed to say “Oh, hell no” to their faces. But this place was a home stay advertised and priced (!) as a nice B&B, and I wasn’t having any of that.

So, tired after an international flight with no place to stay for the night I started making phone calls. Thank goodness I’d picked up a NZ sim for my phone on the way out of the airport or we’d have been real trouble.

We ended up finding a clean but small hotel in downtown Christchurch for less money than the bogus B&B was trying to fleece us for. The homeowners complained that we were “no-shows” and insisted we owed them for the night; we complained back that their ad was misleading and dishonest and we never would have booked a home stay at any price. But for once their complete illegitimacy worked in our favor – they were a cash-only operation and they did not have our credit card number to charge.

Christchurch was severely damaged years ago in an earthquake. It’s clear the downtown city still hasn’t recovered. It’s trying, but there are still holes where buildings stood, and shattered buildings that need to come down. The day we visited was cool and gray, and it didn’t really help the feel. But we settled in for a nice dinner at the pub on the first floor. We’d been off to an inauspicious start, but after a nice dinner and drink we made a nice recovery.

Coffee and Bookstores

It’s possible I may have mentioned our displeasure with the coffee situation in Australia & New Zealand. If I know you personally or we’re friends on Facebook, you’ve definitely heard me whining about it.

My working theory is that some time in Australia’s penal past, an espresso machine salesman did something awful and got himself Transported to Australia for his sins. Probably selling wretched coffee to the king or something. Once here, he did a bang-up job convincing everyone in Oceania that fussy barista style espresso drinks are the only way to have coffee. We’re Dunkin’ folks, not Starbucks. We prefer plain filter coffee, black. There are few things Kathy and I miss more about the U.S. than being able to linger over a bottomless cup of coffee after a meal.

In Australia and New Zealand that will break you. At $4.50 or more for a tiny, bitter espresso drink, there is no lingering and little enjoyment. Like Starbucks, you must adulterate it with creams and/or sugar to make it palatable.

For us, the best cup of coffee we’ve had since coming to New Zealand in 2015 was at a Denny’s in Auckland where there was bottomless American style coffee. The only place I’ve been where I don’t like the coffee are in Oz & NZ. It’s not the strength, it’s the bitterness. French coffee is strong; I drink it black.

When we found out there was a Denny’s in Christchurch our whole day’s schedule got slipped. Breakfast was ON, with filter coffee to boot. We normally avoid American chains while traveling. There so much good stuff locally, and often the best part of local culture is the food. Even in the U.K. (we had some good meals there…but I digress).

But after a year and a half without we couldn’t take a pass on a bottomless cup of coffee. That takes some time!

The one other need we discovered before we left Australia was for a new Lord of the Rings movie tour book. We had one on the boat, or so we thought. Debates raged over whether or not it had been stolen with our car in NZ last time, or if we’d managed to lose it in our few hundred square feet of living space. The argument was never resolved as the book was never found.

We needed a bookstore. And we needed a bookstore with one particular, not-entirely-new guide book in stock. We’d tried to find out in Australia before we left, but no luck. Sitting in Denny’s, we looked in earnest.

Out luck was in – so the next stop was to the bookstore to get a guide then on to Omaru!

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One Comment

  1. Rich A. says:

    Wow, great story!

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